One week ago today, we got in the car and drove to Tauranga to pick up a beautiful little grey and cream ball of fluff. She and I spent five hours sitting next to eachother in the car trip home, and I looked into her eyes, and she looked into mine, and I knew with total certainty that she was the sweetest little cat in the world. I’m madly in love 😍😍😍 Just look at her sleeping in the car OH MY GOODNESS.
Here’s the thing: I am (was!?!) scared of cats. Like quite terrified of them. They have claws! And I’m not such a fan of sharp things 😜 But I’ve always wanted to like cats, and I figured the best way to do that was to get one. We knew we wanted a Ragdoll, because they’re known for being particularly gentle. We were sort of planning on getting one sometime in the next couple of months, but last Sunday I received some bad news (I’m okay, don’t worry, nothing medical or anything like that! 😊) and so we just sort of sped things up a bit. It seemed to be the right time to get a kitten! Mum got hold of Aurora Petz on Monday, and on Tuesday we went to pick up Babs!
The people at Aurora Petz are SO LOVELY, and if you live nearby and are wanting a Ragdoll kitty of your own, I can’t recommend them enough. The cats are so well cared for, and they were just so kind to me about my mental health and my nervousness with cats. The whole experience was so peaceful and just really lovely.
I’m so glad that we got Babs when we did, because she’s really got me through the past week. She’s so sweet and gentle and curious and clumsy and playful, and it feels like she’s been a part of our home for much more than just a few days! It’s so nice having this little being who depends on me, and looks at me with so much love. She’s given me a reason to get out of bed each day, in a week where I don’t know that I would have otherwise.
We named her Babs after Batgirl, whose secret identity is Barbara Gordon, and she’s totally living up to her name. My little life-saver super-kitty 💛
Tonight, depression hit me hard. I came down off a wave of anxiety, and I just plummeted. Not like I-feel-a-bit-down sort of depressed, but like my-last-shred-of-hope-is-gone sort of depressed. At half past ten, my Mum put me in the car, and took me to the beach. We stepped out onto the sand, and I said to her that I didn’t know how to cope anymore. That I didn’t think I could bear a tomorrow.
And as soon as the words left my mouth, I saw a flash of green on the water. I thought I imagined it, like maybe my mind was just done now and I was seeing lights where there weren’t any?! – but then it happened again, and I was looking right at it. As the waves came crashing in, they were glowing a neon green. The water was filled with phosphorus. I was awestruck. No sooner had these words of hopelessness left my mouth, than I was granted this radiant thing of beauty.
Mum and I walked and jumped along the sand, creating patches of fluorescence where our feet hit the ground. We marvelled at the lit up waves. We went home to get Dad and went back. I waded into the freezing winter sea and made it glow by running through the water.
I live a few minutes down the road from this beach, and I visit it almost every single day. It’s been “my” beach since I was a baby. And I had never seen this before. I love how my favourite place, a place I know like the back of my hand, can still surprise me; how the world never runs out of new wonders. How you can run right into hope when you least expect it. Tonight, standing mesmerised on my beach, I could feel God there alongside me, marvelling at his creation. I think he was saying “Here. Here’s some hope. Just hold on. I am with you.”