I am complete.

I am complete.

Today I did Day 10 of the “I am” yoga challenge – the LAST DAY! This was such a satisfying, stretchy class. And for the first time ever I managed to get my top leg parallel to my bottom one in double pigeon! Which is CRAZY, because I’ve always found double pigeon impossible and in pretty much every pose I’m much less bendy than usual right now – but this one I can suddenly magically do! Bodies are so mysterious 😅

It’s really nice to be back to my mat, and I’ve found these 10 classes so helpful with everything going on at the moment. So much love for Erin Motz – her classes are the absolute best! ❤

I am open.

I am open.

Today I did Day 9 of the “I am” yoga challenge – second to last day woop woop! So proud of myself for easing myself back into my practice a little way. I really enjoyed this class – I’m super tight at the moment because of lack of practice, so I couldn’t make it into the full versions of some of the poses, but I know that that’s okay, and I’m feeling much more open at the end of the class!

I’m meeting a new occupational therapist tomorrow morning, so now I feel really prepared to go into it with an open mindset 🙂

I am creative, I am optimistic, I am Wonder Woman.

I am creative, I am optimistic, I am Wonder Woman.

We’ve been having a bot of rain here, and sometimes when that happens our internet disappears, which hindered my yoga and blogging a little, but we’re back folks! Here’s three classes I managed to do in patches of okay WiFi 🙂

Day 5 of the I am challenge was I am creative. This one’s a really fun and freeing flow!

 

Day 6 is actually a meditation – I am optimistic. I really appreciated this one, because although I think I’m doing a pretty good job of staying positive at the moment, it’s really hard work! And this meditation helped to just make it a little bit easier.

 

This next one is not actually part of the “I am” challenge, but it’s also a class by Erin Motz and it definitely made me feel like Wonder Woman, so I think it totally fits 😉 This class was SO MUCH FUN and so empowering! ALL THE GREAT WONDER WOMAN THEMED POSES!

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I am confident.

Today I’m on Day 4 of the “I am” yoga challenge: I am confident.

I went to meet my new therapist this evening (who is lovely, and the therapy she offers sounds great, so I am feeling hopeful! 😊), so this class was very timely! Seeking help and trying to find someone who is a good fit can be a bit of a nerve-wracking experience, so I especially appreciated the cheeky Wonder Woman standing pose today. Definitely helped me to summon up a bit of inner super strength 😉

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I am free.

Today I did Day 3 of the Bad Yogi “I am” challenge: I am free. I really enjoyed today’s flow, because I have been feeling quite trapped lately. This class reminded me that I’m not.

One of the tricky things with mental illness is that although you can seek professional help, and take a course of action to try and improve your health, whether it be medication, therapy, or both, as with any other illness, it is largely outside of your control. You can’t just make yourself suddenly be better. This is pretty obvious with physical injuries or illnesses – we wouldn’t expect to put a plaster cast on a broken arm and for it to instantly heal, or for somebody with the chicken pox to will themselves out of it.

With anxiety and depression, I am simultaneously very aware that I don’t have control over my mental health, but also tend towards blaming myself for how long the healing process is taking. Mental illnesses are fairly invisible, and I think sometimes its hard for me to remember that the healing process is just like the healing process of any other illness or injury.

This is so important to remember, but so hard too. Sometimes I feel very trapped. Either I feel like I have no control, and no matter how hard I try, I will just keep spiraling; or I feel that surely I must be able to do something to be better, surely this is because of me, because I’m doing something wrong.

Neither of these things are true. Some of it I have control over, and some of it I don’t. I can do the things that I do have control over: I can take my meds, I can go to therapy, I can reach out to people, and I can keep trying to do small things that make myself feel better – like having a cup of tea, going for a walk, or reading a comic book. The things that I do to help myself are important, and I couldn’t heal without them. And yet, it is also not my fault that I am not well. Just like with a broken arm, I am doing my bit to get the right medical attention, therapy and care. The rest, I have to leave to time. Some of the process I have to let go of, and trust to God.

There is freedom in that I think. In both doing the things you can, and letting go of what you can’t.