Hello dear friends! Long time, no write, sorry about that. I’ve been going through a pretty horrible break up, and its been a tricky time. My mental health got a bit battered about again and just UGH isn’t a break up just the gift that keeps on giving?! Yesterday was his birthday, and I knew I was going to find that a bit difficult. I’m such a maker – and not being able to make a card, a cake, a present, to just make his day happy – that’s so surprisingly HARD.
So, to get myself through this sucky milestone, I decided that on his birthday, I would throw a little Alice in Wonderland unbirthday party 😛 I invited my sister and nieces over, and I baked unbirthday cakes, made unbirthday cards, and we watched the old Disney Alice in Wonderland, and had a lovely Mad Hatter’s afternoon tea together.
I had so much fun putting the party together, decorating and baking, and had so much fun at the party too! A weekend that I was dreading became filled with joy, and I have the wonderful feeling that it was because of things that I did. I got myself through it, and even had a very merry unbirthday! And I’m so proud of that.
Here are some photos from our unbirthday day! I took lots of photos on Alice and Wonderland Instax film that I had – the perfect opportunity to use it! – so I will upload those soon too 😉
It was a lovely time! I hope all of your unbirthdays this week are marvellous too ❤
Yesterday I got my hair ~drastically~ cut! I hadn’t had it cut for almost a year – I grew it out the whole time I was in Singapore, because the longer it was the heavier it was, and the heavier it was the less the humidity got to it, and the less the humidity got to it the better – because when I first arrived it would frizz up like crazy! I grew out my fringe for the first time (for the same reasons as stated above) and this meant I got to try out a bunch of cool vintage hairstyles that hadn’t been so achievable with a fringe – like bumper bangs (😍😍😍) and victory rolls; and on super hot days, I could scoop all my hair up in a top knot and not have it be a bother.
This was all very good, and I loved having long hair – but when I got hit pretty hard with depression, it became so much work. I didn’t have any energy to style it, so it spent most of its time in a ponytail, and I have SO MUCH HAIR (like the individual strands aren’t thick but they just grow really abundantly from my head?) so it was taking a very long time to wash and absolutely forever to dry. I would towel dry it and then spend half an hour blowdrying it and it would. Still. Be. Wet. Once I got back to the New Zealand winter this became even more of a challenge because wet hair is COLD so hair-washing was becoming a bit of an ordeal. And really, if you’re trying to deal with depression and anxiety attacks, who needs bonus ordeals? 😜
AND convenience aside, I was itching for a bit of a change. This whole blog is about rediscovering, reconnecting with and rebuilding my life out of these tricky times (“Sarah 2.0” as Glen would say!) and, really, what better way is there to say Fresh Start than a brand new ‘do? For me, this haircut was about practicing embracing change, and knowing that going into the unknown can be a good thing 🙂 Fun even! Who knew? 😛
So, armed with pictures of Audrey Hepburn, I went to see my hairdresser, and got the big chop! I am absolutely thrilled with it. I feel like an Old Hollywood film star. I feel like my hair is now this accessory of bravery and confidence that I can take everywhere I go. And I feel like the fresh new version of me that I am becoming through my recovery 🙂
It took me less than two minutes to dry my hair tonight. PIXIE CUTS WIN AT EVERYTHING! ❤
This song has meant a lot to me over the past couple of months.
I’ve been recovering from pretty severe depression and anxiety, and the past while has been a frustrating stage of feeling ready to move on, wanting to get better, and not quite being able to!
Green Light really resonated with me because it so perfectly captures that stage. I haven’t been going through a break-up, but for me, this song has been meaningful and healing.
I skyped my therapist on Monday. It was way harder than I thought it would be!
I’ve just returned two weeks ago from a year in Singapore, where I got hit pretty hard with depression and anxiety. I found a wonderful therapist over there, who really helped me through the rough times, and with the support of my boyfriend and mum, I finally got to a place where I could travel home. 🙂
I’m doing much better than I was at the start of this year, but everyday is still a rocky ride. I’m just taking things a day at a time, and trying to find little lights in all of the toughness.
Even though I’ve been seeing this therapist for months, and we get along really well, talking to her through a screen really weirded me out! It was a different kind of interaction, and change can be so hard! But we just had a short session, and talked about ordinary things, and it wasn’t so bad. We’ll keep chipping away at it, and I think I’ll adjust to it pretty quickly.
Before we hung up, she said to me to keep trying listen to my body and emotions, and to accept them as they are. It’s a challenge not to get frustrated. She said “any moment can be a healing moment.” It was a reminder that I needed.
Change is happening. I just have to be patient, and find the little lights; the healing moments in the difficulties. 🙂
Today I united my now quite glorious collection of washi tape and gave them a new home. I have a lovely shadow box in my room that has had the same contents for a very very long time (ahhh so much dust! Required a good clean down!), and I realised that it would make a perfectly practical and pretty storage space for my colourful rolls! So, in the spirit of embracing change (never my specialty!) and starting afresh and all that, I did a lil bit of interior decorating this evening.
… and after!
I’m so happy with how it turned out! I left a few knick-knacks in there to give it a cute kitschy sort of vibe, and now my washi tape is super easy to access, while simultaneously decorating my wall 🙂